I Give Up, House Hold Chores

After an 8+ hour work day, I don't feel like doing house work. I feel like sitting on the couch and watching as the apartment cleans itself (too much Harry Potter on the brain). So, I am petitioning the chores to take a little initiative:


Dear laundry,
I truly don't mind sorting, washing, and drying you. I don't. I like it actually. But folding and putting away? I hate that. Please just crawl from the chair you're piled on (continually), and put yourselves where you belong. Thank you.

Dear fridge,
I know there is nothing in you that has gone bad, and yet you never smell very nice. And you don't like the baking soda I put in there to curb the problem? How else can I make you less gross?

Dear bathroom,
I know I regularly manipulate my hair from within your walls, and the powder from my makeup often clouds your airspace. I also know there are a million other things that contribute to your messiness, but please stop being instantly messy. It feels like the second I've cleaned you, you're dirty again (that goes for you too, toilet!). Help me out. I'm dying here!

Dear groceries,
Oh wait-- I don't have any. Please arrive of your own accord.

Dear dinner,
Make yourself.